I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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