come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
