I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize