I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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