nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
