put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
