we have officially lost it.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just google imaged poop.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
