You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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