best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
