Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
