"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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