I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
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It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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