Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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