There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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