these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
