just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
