dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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