Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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