$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
