I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
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