i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
