Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
