So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
