youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
