Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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