Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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