He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
