i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
