Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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