Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize