just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
