I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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