so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize