Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
