You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
