Hey man sorry I got all grabby
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
