she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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