look no pants
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
