my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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