Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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