I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
