why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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