Can Purell be used as lube?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
