Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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