My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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