i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
