He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
