I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
