I never want to see another naked old woman again.
two words: eviction party
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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