i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She needs sedatives and a leash
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize