our cab driver is having phone sex.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
