Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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