ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
