I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
