i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize