Your mouth is God's brothel.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
