there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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