pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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