that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
