new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
