A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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