Christians are straight up FREAKS
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.