they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
