Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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